Thanks for taking the time to look over this material. This review can help you create, maintain and improve your parent-child relations. The tips mentioned below can be adapted for use with children from toddlers to teens.
There is no single path to successful parenting. However, harmonious parent-child relations based on mutual affection and respect are essential to effective parenting. Another essential ingrediant is an authoritative parenting style. An authoritative parenting style blends firmness with compassion and a willingness to see things from the child's perspective. Goals are explained in terms of the child's and/or family's best interests. Unlike the authoritarian style, which demands obedience on the basis of a parent's "say-so," the authoritative style encourages cooperation and leaves room when appropriate for negotiation and compromise.
It is hoped that the strategies listed below will make your journey and your parenting experience more productive and enjoyable. Please direct any comments or questions you have about the parenting strategies mentioned herein to: [email protected]. Other parenting questions can be sent to the same email address. You can find my website at: www.drwfwalsh.com.
· Effective Parents:
1. Share Similar Child Rearing Goals and Methods.
2. Display Mutual Respect (Parent/Parent and Parent/Child).
3. Base Respect on Admiration Rather than Fear.
4. Define and Coordinate Parent-Child Roles and Perspectives.
5. Define Their Child's Academic and Domestic Responsibilities.
6. Are Accountable: Model Appropriate Behavior.
7. Know Their Child's Goals, Interests, Hobbies, etc.
8. Specify Consequences for On-Track and Off-Track Behaviors.
9. Make Written Contracts to Avoid Misunderstandings.
10. Provide Significantly More Attention for Positive than for Negative Behaviors.
11. Use Positive Attention to Create a "Home-Court Advantage."
12. Resolve Conflicts Fairly and Amicably: Debate Don't Argue.
13. Compromise Where Appropriate/Draw the Line When Necessary.
14. Enforce Limits in a Fair, Firm, and Decisive Manner.
15. Punish with a Heavy Heart not a Heavy Hand.
16. Suspend a Privilege or Impose a Time-Out with Regret Not Anger.
17. Reward Liberally and Enthusiastically.
18. Tie Rewards to Maintaining On-Track Behaviors.
19. "Catch” Their Child Doing the Right Thing.
20. Give Their Child Credit for an Honest Effort.
21. Celebrate Initiative and Self-Expression.
Parents as Allies and Role Models:
1. Take Pride in Your Role as Parent, Homemaker, and Wage Earner.
2. Admit Your Own Mistakes, Take Responsibility, and Make Amends.
3. Self-Evaluate and Accept Appropriate Criticism to Enhance Authenticity.
4. Be Dependable and Trustworthy.
5. Share Relevant Personal Experiences.
6. Display a Sincere Interest and Concern for Their Child.
7. Root for Their Child's Efforts. Cheer His/Her Success.
8. Share Their Child's Disappointment when Efforts fall Short.
9. Encourage Their Child to Learn from Mistakes and Try Again.
10. Recognize the Positive Qualities of Their Child.
11. Give as well as Demand Respect.
· Managing Child with Rewards and Punishments:
1. Rewards are not Bribes. They are Incentives Like a Salary or Bonus.
2. Attention as a Primary Incentive: Maximize to Reward/ Minimize to Punish.
3. Punish to Educate not Terrorize.
4. Contracts Promote Trust, Responsibility, Power, and Pride.
· Child Stressors:
1. Social Acceptance.
2. Physical Appearance.
3. Peer Issues: Relations, Pressure, Bullying, Deaths, Safety, Finances.
4. Family Issues: Relations, Abuse, Divorce, Death, Finances, Neighborhood.
5. Classroom Issues: Relations, Achievement, Self-Image, Curriculum.
6. Relocations: Disruption to Routines, Loss of Social and Physical Attachments.
7. Drug and/or Alcohol Abuse of a Parent or Older Sibling.
8. Catastrophic Illness or News Events.
9. Subversive Cultural Factors in Advertising and the Media.
· Stress Management Procedures:
1. Listen Attentively and Non-Judgmentally to Your Child's Concerns.
2. Understand Your Child's Point of View: Request Concrete Examples.
3. Suggest Alternative Ways of Seeing Things When Appropriate.
4. Help Your Child Take Control of the Physiology of Fear or Anger
5. Diaphragmatic Breathing.
6. Muscle Relaxation.
7. Imagery for Peace of Mind and Performance Enhancement.
· Parenting as a Community Responsibility:
1. Parents Partner with Teachers and Others Who Influence Their Children.
2. Parents Hold Public Figures, i.e., Politicians, Entertainers, Athletes and Business Leaders Accountable for Their Influence on Children.
3. Parents Protest/Boycott Antisocial and Anti-educational Influences.